Plugging Away

As the wedding gets closer (47 days!), I am constantly being shown areas in which I need to improve. I'm not complaining; on the contrary, I'm thankful for these never-ending opportunities to learn, grow, and change. They're just hard. A friend recently asked me what I'm most afraid of (referring to the wedding and marriage), and I immediately replied, "Failing." Not to be super negative or anything, but this really is my greatest fear about marriage because I know it will happen. However, this is where God can be most glorified. I may be afraid of failing because I indeed will, but it pushes me and reminds me that I always have something to work on, and that I will never be done growing. It reminds me that I should never be happy or satisfied with my current state of holiness; I can ALWAYS improve and become a better Christian, woman, and wife. Of course, there will be setbacks; there already have been, but the key is learning from these. It's not about dwelling on the setbacks and failures (as I can have a tendency to do), but it's about looking at what I did wrong, fixing it, and moving on. I just have to keep plugging away.

Lately, I've also been really convicted about how I treat other people. My words to them or about them, and my thoughts toward them have not been kind or joyful. I'm really trying to work on how I relate to people in general too. My thoughts toward them should not be jealous or disrespectful, and my words to them and about them must definitely not be either of these two things. This is especially true for Taylor. He is the most important person in my life, and he should be treated as such. My words to him should be the kindest, most loving, and most respectful words that I say. This has been something that I've been noticing for a while, but it's been especially apparent lately. I tend to be a smidge (or a lot...) uptight or too nit-picky in certain situations, and I just shouldn't be. I don't need to justify it, even if I think I'm right; I just need to get over it.

My biggest project from now until the wedding (except for the wedding itself, of course) and for the rest of my life is to focus on ME and MY heart. I don't need to change or fix anyone else, except me. There is more than enough to work on in my own life =] Some specifics that I want to work on include:

1. Gentleness-This is most definitely not an inherent character trait that I possess, but it is one that I am most earnestly striving for. (1 Peter 3:4) What more could I want than to be "very precious in the sight of God?"
2. Quietness-This goes along with the last one. (1 Peter 3:4) It refers to having a quiet spirit, and I hope to improve this in my behavior-in how I relate to others, and just in how I generally conduct myself.
3. Soft-spoken-Again, tying in with the last one. I really struggle with this one. I am a naturally loud and expressive person by nature (I blame my parents =] ), but in all seriousness, I want to drastically improve this. I want to speak softer words and learn to be seen and not heard so much. When I do speak, I want it to glorify God and I want it to be edifying in every situation. (Ephesians 4:29) Besides, most of the time, no one really needs to hear what I think =] (Proverbs 29:11)
4. Love-Of course I love Taylor, and other people, but I really want my love to keep growing and be displayed in a biblical way...especially when I am just done and feel that I have no more love to give. I need to let God love others through me, and I need to be a much better testimony to others in this way. (John 13:35) It must also be unconditional, period. (1 Corinthians 4:1-8)
5. Respect-This one is huge for me, and it is sometimes where I fail hugely too.This is one of, if not THE most important thing for Taylor, and it is something that I must always work on and improve. And it must also be unconditional. Besides, as a wife, I am commanded by God to do it (among many other things, of course). (1 Peter 3:2, Ephesians 5:33b)
6. Jealousy-This has been a recent conviction, but I'm appalled at how bad I am about it. I have so many things to be thankful for; I'm incredibly blessed. Being jealous is just not godly, and it robs me of so much joy that I could have for others. (Proverbs 27:4)
7. Patience-I could write a book on this one, but let's just say that this is one of my MAJOR weak points for many, many reasons.
8. Letting the little [and sometimes not-so-little] things go-This goes along with patience. I just need to CHILL and not worry so much about things that, in light of eternity, just do not matter. Like whether or not a ball is thrown at my head. (long story, much evidence of my need for greater patience =] )
9. Remember the privilege I will have to serve Taylor-John MacArthur, in his book 12 Extraordinary Women, really opened my eyes to this. I'd never really thought about it, but as a wife, I have an endless opportunity to serve. This is not only my duty, but also my privilege, and I must remember that. The more I remember this, the more joyful and loving I will be. Not much is uglier than bitterness as a result of serving. Serving others is serving God, and this is an honor and a privilege.
10. Remember that the wedding isn't about the wedding; it's about the marriage-A million things could go wrong (and probably will), but It. Does. Not. Matter. It doesn't. I just have to keep reminding myself that =] Our wedding day may be nothing like I envisioned it, but it's not about us. It's about God, it's about our family, and it's my job to focus on everyone else. I think that seems backwards, but I'd really like to avoid being Bridezilla. I want everything to go as smoothly as possible, and if everyone else is happy, then it will. And we have a lot of people there that aren't believers, so I truly hope that God is seen in our wedding and marriage, and I hope that, above all, He is glorified on that day.
11. Everything may go wrong at the wedding, but I still get to marry my best friend and the man God chose for me-Continuing from the last one, the wedding isn't the point. The point is that at the end of the day, Taylor will be my husband, and I will be his wife. Forever.
12. Every challenge, stress, and disappointment is just another opportunity to learn to trust God-No matter how stressed I get and Taylor and I get, God is in control. He is on His throne, and He is sovereign over all. (Psalm 55:22, Matthew 10:29-31)

I'm sure there's much more to work on, but I've only got 47 days left, so this will have to do for now. I'm so excited to see what God teaches me in the days, months, and years to come! 

Disciple

Best. Cake. Ever.

Ok, I've had a lot of good chocolate cake. I've eaten it at restaurants, I've made it, and I've eaten it when friends have made it. But never have I had a chocolate cake that was this good and this easy. Usually if you want a really good homemade anything, it requires a little bit of extra effort. Not so with this cake. Seriously, this was almost as easy as opening a box mix and dumping everything in. It just required a tiny bit more measuring and it tasted WAY better. This is the moistest chocolate cake, or probably any cake, that I have ever made or eaten. And here's the kicker...there's no butter in the cake. None! There's only one stick in the frosting. I, for one, was shocked. The best part about making this cake too, was that there was no sifting, no separating ingredients into dry and wet and then alternating to combine and all of that stuff. We just dumped in the dry stuff, dumped in the wet stuff, mixed it all up, and baked. It really couldn't have been easier or faster. My only complaint is that it's addicting, and I'm getting married in 54 days, and I just don't need extra calories right now! I'm hoping my morning running will offset it a little bit =]

So here's the recipe:

Ingredients

• 2 cups sugar
• 1-3/4 cups all-purpose flour
• 3/4 cup HERSHEY'S Cocoa
• 1-1/2 teaspoons baking powder
• 1-1/2 teaspoons baking soda
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 2 eggs
• 1 cup milk
• 1/2 cup vegetable oil
• 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
• 1 cup boiling water
• "PERFECTLY CHOCOLATE" CHOCOLATE FROSTING (recipe follows)

Directions

1. 1 Heat oven to 350°F. Grease and flour two 9-inch round baking pans.
   
2. 2 Stir together sugar, flour, cocoa, baking powder, baking soda and salt in large bowl. Add eggs, milk, oil and vanilla; beat on medium speed of mixer 2 minutes. Stir in boiling water (batter will be thin). Pour batter into prepared pans.
   
3. 3 Bake 30 to 35 minutes or until wooden pick inserted in center comes out clean. Cool 10 minutes; remove from pans to wire racks. Cool completely. Frost with "PERFECTLY CHOCOLATE" CHOCOLATE FROSTING. 10 to 12 servings.
   
   VARIATIONS:
   ONE-PAN CAKE: Grease and flour 13x9x2-inch baking pan. Heat oven to 350° F. Pour batter into prepared pan. Bake 35 to 40 minutes. Cool completely. Frost.
   
   THREE LAYER CAKE: Grease and flour three 8-inch round baking pans. Heat oven to 350°F. Pour batter into prepared pans. Bake 30 to 35 minutes. Cool 10 minutes; remove from pans to wire racks. Cool completely. Frost.
   
   BUNDT CAKE: Grease and flour 12-cup Bundt pan. Heat oven to 350°F. Pour batter into prepared pan. Bake 50 to 55 minutes. Cool 15 minutes; remove from pan to wire rack. Cool completely. Frost.
   
   CUPCAKES: Line muffin cups (2-1/2 inches in diameter) with paper bake cups. Heat oven to 350°F. Fill cups 2/3 full with batter. Bake 22 to 25 minutes. Cool completely. Frost. About 30 cupcakes.
   
   
   "PERFECTLY CHOCOLATE" CHOCOLATE FROSTING
   
   1/2 cup (1 stick) butter or margarine
   2/3 cup HERSHEY'S Cocoa
   3 cups powdered sugar
   1/3 cup milk
   1 teaspoon vanilla extract
   
   Melt butter. Stir in cocoa. Alternately add powdered sugar and milk, beating to spreading consistency. Add small amount additional milk, if needed. Stir in vanilla. About 2 cups frosting.

Since it is a Hershey recipe, it calls for Hershey cocoa powder, but Taylor and I made two different cakes, one with Hershey and one without, and they taste the same. I also really like this recipe because it gives options for making the cake different ways. That gives you options, and it can also make it seem like you're making three different desserts, but they're all with the same recipe! I love it. No complaints here =]

So much to do...but what to do?

With the wedding being 62 days away, I'm constantly overcome with how much I feel like I have left to do. But there's a problem with that, I often find myself not knowing what to do. Sure, I know there's some big stuff left to do (bridesmaids dresses, anyone?), but it's all of those crazy little details that seem to keep popping out of nowhere. I have a dress, but with a dress comes the need for shoes and jewelry and fittings, all of which I haven't done yet. Then there's music, but what songs to play? And in what order? I do know one song for sure that we want and when we want to play it, but I'm pretty sure one song's not going to cut it for the wedding, despite the simplicity of the ceremony. I could go on and on with this list. Yes, I do have a pretty lengthy list of details to iron out over Spring Break next week, but I just have this nagging concern that I'm not thinking of something...or a lot of things.

So, to all of my wonderful married friends, HELP! Any and all wedding/marriage advice is welcome =]

Getting Started...

Well I decided to give this blogging thing a try. I don't know how regular I'll be with it; I hope to keep it pretty up to date, but it'll just depend on the day. There's still a lot to figure out, but I hope to make my profile a little bit less boring and a little more personalized in the weeks to come. Advice on how to actually do that is welcome =]

I know I'm not technically a Morris yet, but I didn't want to wait until after the wedding to start because a lot could happen between now and then! I look forward to sharing little tid bits of our new life together, and I'm eager to see what God has in store for us.